Christmas Jokes, 1895


Victoriancomedy_trans_NvBQzQNjv4Bqeo_i_u9APj8RuoebjoAHt0k9u7HhRJvuo-ZLenGRumAIn December 1895, Mr Andrew Gibson, of Bowie’s Land, Blantyre recorded some anecdotes to lighten up the mood and entertain during the festive season. Two of his favourite recollections are preserved here:

Fell Into Property
Some years ago Mrs Bowie found herself in court as a judge asked, “It is not true though Mrs Bowie, that your son fell into property?”
“Deed aye yer honour”, she replied. “that’s quite true. He got drunk wan night an’ fell doon the gratin’ of a new building.

Whisky Shoes
One night Mr Bowie found his son and heir, aged 5 busily engaged rubbing his shoes with some liquid. “Whit are ye daeing, Johnny?”, he asked the boy.
“Da, ah wis tryin’ tae make ma shoes look like the baby’s rid wans.”, wee Johnny piped up.
“An whit are ye dying them wae?”, was the old man’s next question.
“Whisky”, said wee Johnny, producing a hidden bottle.
Mr Bowie, spat out his tea! “Whisky! Are ye kiddin’ me?” he spouted as he grabbed the bottle. “Whit wastry, an’ who telt ye that whisky wid dye it red?”
Johnny replied, “Naebody, but ah heard mither say whisky made yer nose rid…an I thought…” Wee Johnny’s yelps from a smacked arse then disturbed the Stonefield neighbours for a few minutes.

Fascinated, I wish I could have read a whole book of Mr Gibson’s interesting Anecdotes.

Featuring Blantyre Project Social Media with permission. Strictly not for use by others on or offline, our visitors said:

Jessie Caldow Hilarious!

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